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The other night I was at his house and he was touching my stomach and i was just tearing up so much. I can’t handle anyone seeing/touching me now that I’ve gotten so fat. I wish I could just restrict like I used to but I’m trapped in a b/p cycle and I can’t handle it anymore. I fucking hate how fat I am, I want it all off, I just want to be bones. I hate my life. I hate it all. I never want to eat again. I despise food so much, it is my one and only enemy. There is nothing worse than being in the normal range, it makes me sick. I’m the biggest failure.